"An Illusion in a Cafe" is a solo choreographed and performed in my Spring semester of sophomore year. This solo is my final for my composition I class, we were given very little restriction as to what we can do. Music was not required, but I had a great idea of what I wanted this solo to feel like. I thought first of the feelings and inspiration from my favorite songs at the time. I also wanted to draw my movement from my fascination of spontaneous decision making in improvisation. I thought of the full picture while sitting in a cafe on a Sunday writing in my bullet journal. I wanted to pull the feeling and inner narrative within myself of the feelings and daydreams I have in a cafe. I feel these romantic and create dreamlike landscapes while I sit and wait and work. With these three things in mind, I moved the ideas to the studio and got into this work.
I began this work with a lot of gestural work which I adore. My upper body is my go-to, I tend to look towards forward space being used instead of exploring behind me or my spine. My first journal, I referred to this and wanted to challenge myself a bit further by literally entering the backspace but also acknowledging the unknown feeling that was already there in my narrative. The fear and excitement of the unknown in improvisation, the next note a jazz musician will play in the songs I was so inspired by, and the daydreams I have in a romantic café. To challenge less gestural predicted movement, I wanted to accentuate my spine and use the improvisation techniques of using initiation points on the body for some different ideas.
Since most of the material was made in class, I noticed some of my tendencies as a worker. I am easily distracted, discouraged by other people’s opinion of my status, and have a desperate need for a lot of space. A great challenge for me was to stay focused and stay confident in the material that I was making. I am sure that a lot of artists have this issue, but this piece of work really highlighted my weakness for judgement and attention. By the fourth session of working in a class session, I had become more aware that what was needed was not isolation, but the acknowledgement of all these thoughts and just a bit more consideration that this was even happening. There were really so many places to work, so find a studio with lots of windows, work in time shifts, and consider that other people are working as well. If people are watching, consider asking them how they think it’s going. Ask for a honest opinion. Once I started working like this, things started to get much better.
Once the piece was done, rehearsal was done in a different way to try to limit as many of those difficult expectations that I usually set on myself. I tried to focus on embodying the feeling of those romantic feelings in a café, the songs playing in my head, and breathing with every gesture. Rehearsal was left to focus on just dancing. Creating effortless lines and sweeping the air with care. Focusing on dancing just because the moments that I feel in those café settings are some of the most relaxing. I wanted to create a trip for the audience that was authentic. While there is a sense of a narrative, I didn’t want to spell it out for the audience. Three minutes and twenty seconds of dancing can peak into my Sunday coffee and daydream but at the same time take it all away as I run off the stage. In my fourth journal, I point to these ideas;
“I think my next steps in this solo is to really let go a bit more. Start to throw away some movement instead of holding onto the precious moments that only I find precious. I always want to turn to more movement than what I am doing, but the notes that I have been getting is not to change the movement but to rethink the intention and meaning I am trying to convey.”
My performance went very well for my preparation is something that I was very sure I knew how to do. Getting to the venue early, preparing a hour before, and letting the 20 minutes prior as quiet time to gather my thoughts and start my stabilization. I use this time to not really focus on what I have to do, but on what is about to come and how I can prepare my body and mind for it. Like stated before, I have a tendency to hype things too much and come down hard on myself which sometimes hurts rather than helps. I think that this approach of meditating, preparing, and taking things a bit more slow than normal is when I find the most success. I enjoy performing so much, I knew that this was my time to share and show a piece of work that I created with genuine feeling.
With all this in mind, I enter into summer hopefully continuing making work inspired by this solo. I really enjoy the aesthetic of romance and feminine quality in all my work. This feeling of contentment and unknown is something that I want to dive deeper into, even in my film.